Well, let's see here... don't really know what to say about myself. I'm a pretty simple girl I suppose. I try to enjoy the simple things in life and not really into materialism. I have four great kids who I adore. It's been a really hard time these last few years...alot of obstacles I guess you could say. I try to see the blessing in everything, no matter how great or small.
I've been pretty sick the last few years. I've been the sole supporter of my children for most of that time and barely making ends meet at times. I have a ton of med's I have to take on a daily basis and that gets really expensive, but what choice do you have? I stopped taking them for awhile when I ran out of money, but ended up in the hospital and had my butt chewed out by the doctor, lol. It's not really funny, in fact it's scary. Scary beyond belief... The state programs are so messed up... It's very difficult to get medical through the state in Oklahoma. You have to make next to nothing to qualify financially and believe me, I do make next to nothing, so it's even less than that! I'm supposed to support these children, who I love more than anything in the world, but I'm supposed to do it when I have all these medical issues and no help with the med's I need...never mind the test they want to do on me and the regular blood work that's required!
What's wrong with me, you ask? Well, that's the question of the day isn't it? The complete diagnoses is still up in the air...since I can never find the money to get things done. But here is what I know so far... let me take you back a few years... I started gaining weight at an incredible rate-about 70 pounds over a 3 or 4 month period, yet I really could not see myself changing anything at all about the way I ate. At that time I had insurance and went to my doctor about it where he proceeded to tell me it was just stress and not to worry about it.
Well, I had gone through a divorce, I was working a ton of overtime just to get by, and not getting any child support...I was missing my kids and I thought, okay---I'm definitely stressed out! So, I tried to eat less and excercise more and just tried not to be so stressed out. I started having my quiet time to meditate and pray... and I went on with life.
I was tired all the time, not losing and in fact still gaining weight...getting depressed because I knew it must be my fault if the doctor said it was just stress...I began having panic attacks and problems with anxiety... in fact I was out of work on FMLA for a few months, by a different doctor because when I started having all these problems my doctor didn't do anything for me, so I went to another and he immediately took me out of work! That should have been a red flag for me to leave that first doctor but when I went back to work at a new job later--giving up the first because it was very high stress... I went back to the original doctor...are you with me so far??
Anyway...things continued on...some days I was soooo tired I honestly COULD NOT keep myself awake! It was something I'd never experiences before...nothing like it. I was taking sick days and calling in left and right... then I started having other problems... being forgetful, not being able to recall a name or word....not knowing my own phone number or log-in password at work... it progressed and progressed... sometimes unable to tie a shoe because I could not remember how to do it! Being stuck at a red light and when it turned green, I couldn't drive away because I couldn't remember how to work the stick shift and the clutch.... I started being unable to talk right...stuttering and making strange noises....being dizzy and lightheaded.... having terrible memory problems it felt like Alheizmers (spell??) and headaches....the doctor just kept telling me it was stress!
Finally, I got fired from that job (who can blame them as many days as I missed!), and was about to lose my insurance when I was overheard on my cell phone talking to a friend, by a lady in line in front of me... she couldn't help overhearing, yada-yada-yada... bless her heart, she told me about her mother and how it sounded like what she had and what she went through...and how she'd been mis-diagnosed for so long...
Well, I knew in my heart that something was wrong with me and by golly he was gonna check it out for me! I went into his office and through a liuttle (respectable) fit and he, begrudgingly agreed to run the test... I went home and waited... finally I get a call from his office--the doctor needs me to come in and talk to him about my results! They wouldn't tell me anything over the phone--like that wasn't going to stress me out!
So, I go in and he tells me that it came back positive and that my numbers were higher than he's ever seen! I have Hashimotos Disease and severe Hypothyroidism.... I could have gone into some kind of coma (can't remember the name of it right now) and I was going to be on these med's for the rest of my life...also my cholesterol was extremely high which I later found out was made worse because of it, but don't let me get ahead of myself... So, I asked alot of questions... I asked, so, "is this why I have _____, or ______?" (can't remember exactly what symptoms I asked about)...he said NO...well, I went home and to the library...read as much as I could and found out that YES, that's why I have ____ and ____ and at my next visit, I tell him... I read that _____ and ____ are some of the symptoms....he looks at me and nods and says yes, like it's nothing...like he knew all along...like he didn't even remember telling me NO a week before...he probably didn't! But THAT, was the moment I had to face reality! The moment I knew what kind of person he was...the moment I realized that he didn't know anything about it (many doctors don't), and that (this is the worse part) he was just going to nod and act like he knew...not tell me, I'm not sure, let me check into that, or let's get you over to a specialist...just say whatever pops into his head!
So, without insurance, I kept using him for awhile just to get my prescriptions, but that was in mentally for me--I knew he was not the doctor for me!
Later I found out that any doctor would have or at least, should have ordered test right away with all my sypmtoms and weight gain... I also got a heart murmer out of all this and chronic hypertension, which may or may not have had all along, I don't know---he never said anything except it's stress, or later, it's in my genes!
I may have something called Hashimotos Encephalopothy (spell?) and may also have had some mini-strokes but my clinic doctor can only do so much and everything takes time and money!
It was supposed to take a year or so to be mostly leveled out, but because of finances, and going off the meds for some time, I am still not doing good...although, my numbers have come down some, and I do have some good days, I also have some really bad ones! I have to have my med's raised very slowly because of the effect it has on my heart, so it's a very slow process. I have to take my Levoxyll, Lovastatin, HCTZ, Limprisil (sp??), Prilosec daily for my acid reflux (very severe), not to mention all my asthma meds that I have to take just to breathe! It's very costly.
There were times when I could not work at all... I would freeze up and not be able to talk...I did fast food for awhile which was really hard on my body--back and legs, feet, etc...thinking it was a no-brainer, but I almost stuck my hand in a vat of hot oil to fish out a stray hashbrown!!! I knew then I couldn't do that anymore!
All I want right now is to be able to tie up lose ends here and get to Arizona where my mother and the rest of my family are. The kids and I live in Oklahoma without any family. My exhusband got out of the Marine Corps and moved us here for a new start...then he left us and that was that--we were stuck with no funds to move. My family doesn't have the funds...my mother is not well and barely gets by herself... it's been over 4 years since I've seen my family and all I want is to get home to her. I know it will be hard, with me and four kids, but God help me, I just want my mother. I need my family and I don't know how long she'll be with us either. She needs ocygen at night and a walker to move...among other things...she's not well.
Please, if there is anyone that can help us with this, please pray about it or think about considering to help us. My children and I would be so thankful!
I have a van that is not in good shape, but I think if I could get a tune-up (I know it needs sparkplugs) and could stop along the way...maybe 2 nights motel stay....to let the van rest along the way...and the gas money and food to get there, which I estimate to be about $350 or $400 tops....and to ship our most important items out there--everything else will be left behind...maybe another $200. to $250. tops to mail our clothes, bedding, pictures, our favorite books, nic-nacs, etc...
Well, if nothing else, this has been somewhat theraputic. I pray someone will be able to help us get home and I thank you for your prayers if you please:-)
Many, many thanks for listening,
Debbie
